


For my life still ahead, pity me.

by grillantho



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grillantho/pseuds/grillantho
Summary: Rin always knew that he would live longer than the rest of his friends. He was a half-demon after all. Hell, they’d even discussed it in Demon Pharmaceutical classes in their first year at the academy.He knew he’d have to say goodbye to everyone he knew and loved one day.But damn, it hurts so much.(Alternate title: Who wants to live forever?)
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103





	For my life still ahead, pity me.

Rin always knew that he would live longer than the rest of his friends. He was a half-demon after all. Hell, they’d even discussed it in Demon Pharmaceutical classes in their first year at the academy.

_“Professor, because Okumura’s half-demon does that mean that he’ll live longer than the rest of us?” Suguro questioned at the start of class._

_Their teacher paused for a few moments to think about what he was asked._

_“Mr. Suguro, I’m actually not too sure. Because he has super-human strength and healing, it is very well possible that he could live way longer than you or I.”_

_A somber mood fell across the class as the door slammed open. Rin sauntered in, juice box in one hand, and a slip of paper in the other._

_“Woah who died? The mood is so dark in here!” He exclaimed as he took his seat._

_“Speak of the devil and he will appear” Izumo muttered._

_“Hey! I thought we were over that son of satan crap!” Rin said as he twisted in his seat to face her._

_“It’s an expression dumbass, we were just talking about you before you came in.” She paused. “Now shut up” Izumo finished._

_Rin huffed and was about to give a witty retort when their teacher cleared his throat from the front of the room._

_“Mr. Okumura, may I see that slip you have?” Their teacher asked_

_Rin blinked before realizing he was still holding it._

_“Ah sorry teach, the stupid clown needed to talk about something and it went longer than expected. Here ya go!” Rin answered as he got up to hand it to him._

_Their class ended a bit early that day so they started up their discussion from earlier._

_“So you’re tellin’ me I might be immortal? That would be so cool!” Rin exclaimed after he was told what they were talking about._

_“Well we’re not certain dumbass, but yeah. You might live longer than all of us. Scary huh?” Suguro replied._

* * *

Rin thought it was awesome that he wouldn’t age, and he didn’t really think of it much. In fact, he forgot all about it until his friends started aging themselves. Rin, hadn’t aged a day past 20 but Yukio’s hair had gone grey, and Suguro was rocking salt and pepper stubble. 

It was then that he had finally realized the harsh reality of immortality. He started acting more careless on missions, hoping that he’d die way before any of his loved ones could. He did that until Suguro chewed him out, accusing him of abandoning both him and their daughter. 

"How could you be so selfish? We still need you! We're still here Rin! We've still got our lives ahead of us, we're not going anywhere and neither are you."

Even 30 years later Rin could still remember that day as if it had just happened.

Shiemi died of breast cancer at the age of 68. It was ironic really, their resident healer dying from what is normally such a curable illness. 

Then it was Shima, killed in combat. He was caught spying on a dangerous former member of the Illuminati and was killed. It took them 3 weeks to find his body. Rin took solace in the fact that he died aged 69. 

All of the only people Rin had ever loved were dying and he couldn’t stop it. It was futile. One by one they all died until there was one left. He lost his best friends and his brother, but this was one loss he wasn’t sure he could handle.

Suguro. 

Suguro lived to an impressive 98 years of age, his stubbornness being the main reason he hadn’t given up yet. Whenever Rin came to visit, they always assumed he was Ryuuji’s great-grandchild and were shocked to find out that they were the same age. 

“Ryu, it’s okay ya know? You don’t have to be strong anymore.” Rin sobbed out as he took his hand.

“Promise me you’ll say hello to everyone for me? I.. I won’t get to see any of you guys when I pass onto Gehenna so, please. Please tell everyone I’m thinking of them.” 

Ryuuji was so weak all he could do was smile as he took in Rin’s face one last time. 

“Ryu... I love you so much. Okay? N-never forget that.” Rin could feel the hand he was holding go limp and couldn’t hold back the harsh sobs as he heard the deafening beep that rang through the room.

Rin Okumura, who didn’t look a day over 20, had just lost his lover of 78 years. His heart was irreparably shattered. He had nothing but time itself to be mad at. 

_Immortality is a fucking bitch._ He thought as he walked out of the hospital hiding his face with his white bangs and a hood. 

When he got back to his apartment he was greeted by the photo he had in the hallway of his family. Suguro was actually smiling for once, holding their little girl in his arms with Rin beaming just as brightly beside him. 

Their little girl Lily had moved to Canada and wasn’t able to fly back in time to say goodbye-Ryuuji’s health had decreased extremely quickly. 

Staring at the photo, Rin was in disbelief that Ryuuji, _his_ Ryuuji was gone. Forever. And he couldn’t even see him again because he was damned to walk this earth until it was time to go to Gehenna. 

He turned on the T.V and connected his phone so that he could stream some home videos he had. He was already forgetting Ryuuji’s voice and he had to fix that. 

While finding videos to play, he found some from his highschool days. Watching it, he can’t believe how young everyone was. He cried himself to sleep eventually.

Years later when he lost his daughter, that was the day that he became a hermit in the woods. Living off the land. He fell off the grid and resigned from the Order.

When he turned 250 years old, he realized he had forgotten Ryuuji’s voice and all the minor details about his friends and brother. 

At 300 he started forgetting major details, like the birthdays of those he loved. 

Living forever is better when kept in fiction.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Ever since I found out that Kato basically confirmed that Rin will live longer than everyone else this idea had been bouncing around in my head. I cried while writing this, not gonna lie haha. I listened to '39 by Queen on repeat while writing this, it's such a beautiful song (one of my favourites by Brian May, to be honest) so this is dedicated to that song haha.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this! Leave a comment/kudos to let me know if you did! 
> 
> (Those of you who are keeping up with my other work How to save a life, the new chapter will be out within the next few days! Sorry it's so late, I've been having a lot of writer's block with it :/)


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